This Fourth of July Feels Different
I get it. This Fourth of July things are going to be different. Where we normally go all out and celebrate with family and friends, this year we the People of the United States of America are traumatized and angry. Many of our freedoms and liberties have been taken from us and our constitution appears to be suspended. This is painful experience for many of us. Many Americans are choosing not to go all out and celebrate this year, for the idea of fireworks and flag-waving can feel tone-deaf when our democratic foundations feel under attack.
I’m writing this from Portugal, where I recently moved as an American expat. Being outside the daily flood of American political chaos has given me a different vantage point—not because I’m disconnected from the pain, but because I’m no longer “treading water” in the constant current of rage, uncertainty, and fear that seems to be drowning so many people I love back home.
From this distance, I can see something that might be hard to recognize when you’re in the thick of it: the mounting anger, the ego-stirring, the deliberate “flood the zone” tactics designed to keep us overwhelmed and reactive—these aren’t just political strategies. They’re taking a devastating toll on our collective mental health and individual well-being.
If you’re feeling exhausted, heartbroken, or like the America you believed in is slipping away, you’re not alone. Your feelings are valid. The threat to democracy is real. And the systems many of us trusted feel like they’re failing us. You even might find yourself sizing up, hesitating, and questioning the people who provide healthcare services even, wondering which side of humanity they align with. I’ve certainly experienced that.
Our Screens Are Being Weaponized Against Us
One of the first things I noticed from being at a distance outside the US information bubble is how deliberately our digital environments are being used to keep us destabilized. Many of us don’t realize just how much our daily digital consumption affects our mental state—and how this serves those who benefit from our chaos. Social media platforms are designed to capture and hold our attention, often through content that triggers strong emotional responses. While these platforms can connect us with others, they can also create echo chambers that amplify anxiety and divide us from people who think differently.
When we’re constantly consuming information designed to provoke reactions, our nervous systems can become chronically activated. This leaves us feeling on edge, reactive, and less able to think clearly about what we truly value and want in our lives.
The good news? Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward taking back your freedom.
Fight Back!
Here is what I want to suggest to you:
- Take your newly found awareness of this pattern and how it plays out from start to finish.
- Try out some old school norms and see how different you feel. (What I mean by that is resign yourself to having more voice phone calls or better yet, arrange for some solid in-person face time with a number of people who just come together to celebrate your friendship, a birthday, and/or “party like it’s 1999”. )
We used to do this kind of stuff in the 80’s and 90’s. And listen, the current US Presidential Administration is taking the American people back to the 1400’s with some of their policies and legal revisions. I mean wouldn’t you rather try going back just a few decades to sample life before social media and 24/7 news? Why not?!?!? Am I right?
Stop "SHOULD'ng" All Over Yourself
One of the most exhausting aspects of modern life is the constant pressure of “shoulds.” Social media shows us curated versions of other people’s lives, leaving us feeling like we should be more successful, more productive, more positive, or more politically engaged.
These “shoulds” aren’t usually conscious choices we’ve made about how we want to live. They’re often unconscious programming from external sources that don’t fit in alignment with our authentic values.
Try this simple exercise: The next time you catch yourself thinking or saying out loud “I should…” or “ I shouldn’t have….” Take a beat, rewind and swap out the word “Should” for “Choose” For example:
- “I should be more productive” becomes “I choose to be more productive”.
- “I shouldn’t skip the gym, today” becomes “I choose not to skip the gym today.”
This small shift helps you reclaim ownership of your choices and reduces the mental pressure that leads to doubting and mistrusting yourself.
Create “Exit Ramps”
Just as buildings have fire exits, this modern day America needs “exit ramps” – ways to step back from situations or patterns that are intentionally designed to drain your energy and have you compromise your well-being.
Digital exits might include:
- Setting specific times to check news and social media, then logging off
- Unfollowing accounts that consistently trigger anxiety or comparison
- Creating phone-free zones in your home or schedule
- Choosing one day per week to disconnect entirely
Mental exits might include:
- Learning to recognize when you’re spiraling into worry and having a plan to interrupt it (I teach people these pattern interrupt tools by the way. Reach out to me if you want to learn some really effective techniques.)
- Developing a personal meditation or breathing practice to ground you.
- Identifying trusted friends you can call when you need perspective.
- Creating a list of activities that reliably calm your nervous system.
- Connect with nature. Touch a tree, walk barefoot in the sand or in the grass. Spend sometime grounding. You are a part of nature, after all!
Reclaiming Your Inner Authority
True freedom isn’t about external circumstances you can’t control – it’s about reclaiming your inner authority to choose how you respond to life.
This means:
- Trusting your instincts when something doesn’t feel right, even if others say it should
- Setting boundaries around your time, energy, and attention
- Choosing your information sources carefully, seeking out balanced perspectives
- Remembering your values and making decisions based on what truly matters to you
The Power of Small Choices
You don’t need to overhaul your entire life to experience more freedom. Sometimes the most powerful changes come from small, consistent choices:
- Reserving a certain amount of time in the morning, upon waking and at night, before bed to commit to meditation, grounding exercises, and self-care to keep yourself living in your real world experience and your body regulated for calm. Maybe it’s an hour maybe two, before you allow yourself to consume news or any kind.
- Asking yourself “How do I actually feel about this?” before sharing someone else’s opinion
- Spending ten minutes in nature without your phone
- Calling a friend instead of scrolling social media when you’re feeling disconnected
Experience Your Freedoms Now
This Fourth of July, consider celebrating a different kind of independence – your independence from being sent through chaotic patterns, habits, and up against influences that don’t serve your highest good.
You have the power to:
- Decide which conversations deserve your energy
- Create spaces of peace in your daily life
- Trust your own judgment about what feels right for you
Questions for reflection:
- Where in your life do you feel most free to be yourself?
- What would you do differently if you trusted your own judgment completely?
- How can you create more space for your own thoughts and feelings?
Moving Forward with Intention
True freedom isn’t about controlling everything around you – it’s about knowing you have choices, even in challenging circumstances. It’s about cultivating the inner resources to navigate uncertainty with grace and maintaining your sense of self amid external chaos.
This holiday, instead of just celebrating historical freedoms, celebrate your ongoing freedom to choose: your thoughts, your responses, your boundaries, and your path forward.
Start small. Start today. Your future self will thank you.
One question to carry with you: In this moment, what choice would honor both your well-being and your values?
Your freedom – real, personal, sustainable freedom – begins with that choice.
I want to wish you a Happy and Reinvigorating Independence Day. May you be radically rebellious in taking back your freedoms. I see you living your life and your values out loud and on purpose!
